Feel like you’re not good enough at work? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. AND ITS OKAY.
Sometimes I feel like I’m going nowhere and as I’m sat writing this post, that is exactly how I feel. I feel like I’m not good enough at work. I’m stuck and overwhelmed and completely snowed under with the amount of work that I need to do. I’ve got blogposts that are half written, pictures that aren’t edited and invoices to send and despite feeling like I’m a failure – doing these things seems like a task too big.
Its funny isn’t it. The very reason I’m stressed and overwhelmed is because I’ve got so much to do but its ultimately effecting my drive to do these things. I have been sat on my bed for four hours now and all I’ve got to show for it is a few edited pictures, a handful of scheduled tweets and thats it. I could have done much more with my time but I didn’t and I don’t know why.
And in amongst all of these emotions I started to doubt myself and my brand. I doubt my content, my time management, my writing and my audience- because you guys just aren’t as engaged with me as some other bloggers. And to be honest it gets me down to know that I’m just not ‘up there’. I didn’t use to have amazing quality but I’ve improved so much and I’m thinking up unique blogposts too – but this is what drives me forward. I used to really worry about my identity as Copper Garden, which is something I have previously written about in a post but for right now its heading in a much more positive direction.
Working life can give us a whole new ball park of ways to prove our worth and standards to live up to, but sometimes it all seems a bit much. We can happily go through our working week at an all time high until one small blow knocks the ladder and we feel like we’re going nowhere. Work (regardless of your field) has a funny way of making you feel on top of the world or under the ground.
But this post isn’t to focus on the negative. Its to focus on the positive that comes from the negative. Because these days of self doubt pass and push us into a realm of experimenting. They give us a new drive to work harder and bigger than before. To find flaws in yourself can be a gift in disguise. The flaw is there to be improved and as a realisation that actually, you’re much better than that piece of work you dislike.
My current blow came in the form of a realisation that I’ve run out of pictures to post on Instagram (yep, something as small as that). I woke up this morning and decided to post an image to Instagram. I then realised that I’d got nothing left to post. This spiralled me into an omgimtheworstbloggerever moment and I felt almost guilty. I let this one thought spiral, snowball and include every other aspect of my day until I felt lost and useless. I’ve just been sat wallowing in my sadness instead of grasping hold of each hour and making it count. So thats what I am doing right now, making the day count. Its 3pm and I’m determined to get things done.
I guess this is a pretty big ramble of a post but sometimes the easiest time to write is when the emotion is so raw and present. I know I’m never very good at rounding up a post because unlike a school essay, I can’t write blogposts with an intro, middle and conclusion. I just wanted to let this one burst of doubt to be a reminder to you that even though it might seem like it hasn’t been your day (your week, your month, or even your yeaaaar).. you are the only one that can change your outlook on the day into a positive one.
I kind of lost my motivation the last few months with so much changing. This move to London has been good for me though. I just know it. I’m able to see my friends again, spend more time at meetings and events, work harder on lookbooks and more unique videos. Plus, I’m finding a hundred parts of London to shoot outfits in. I’m sure you’ve probably noticed the changes already even though the struggle for motivation is still slightly present.
What I’m trying to say is..
Let that negative emotion give you the clarity to see what you want to improve and use your positivity to take action. Don’t drown in the thoughts that someone else is better than you – embrace that you’re different and use it as a force to drive you forward.
Photography and Edits by Adrian Stanley.
a twenty-something exploring the world with a double espresso and a camera.