It hast really been brought up on my blog yet but my boyfriend and I broke up a while ago. It was completely mutual but after almost six years, discovering who I am again and feeling confident alone has been a challenge. It sounds so dramatic but spending so long trying to keep someone else happy and not focusing on myself meant that naturally I became more reserved and spent less time with my friends. But lets not dwell on all of the negatives because the positive is huge – I’m very happy.
I’ve not necessarily had the defining moments of a break-up yet but I feel like the last couple of months have been a good test of discovering who I am as a young adult falling into the step of life – as well as learning how to be myself again post relationship so like with every life experience, I thought I’d write a little post about how to be yourself again after a breakup.
Accept that you’re okay on your own
This was the hardest step for me, having to accept that I’m alone. After spending almost every evening with someone its difficult to know what to do when they aren’t there. Luckily blogging takes a chunk of my time so its been a great distraction, it stops my brain from overthinking too much when I’m alone and lets me unleash my creativity a little.
Don’t dwell on the past
What ifs are never your friend and you can’t change a past situation. We’re all guilty of over thinking and wondering what went wrong or times that we could have changed, but sometimes it better to hold your thoughts and focus on the future.
..but also don’t jump into a new relationship
Rebounds seem like a good idea, until you realise that you’re down about more than one person and wondering why you jumped so fast. The right person will come along and when they do you’ll know, so hold off jumping to the first guy that shows you attention.
I’m as guilty as the next girl when it comes to neglecting my friends when I get a relationship, but being single means there is more time to make plans and enjoy being young and carefree with the girls. Whether its going on a night out, holiday, trip to the spa or even just having everyone over for Netflix – keep your friends close and chat to them about everything.
Find something you love
For me, its working out because there is nothing better than looking and feeling great. Being single gives you much more time to hit the gym or find some cool workout classes with your friends.
Treat yourself to new underwear
Okay so this isn’t exactly a way to be yourself but buying nice underwear always makes me feel more confident. Even if nobody else sees it, you know you’re feeling like a Victoria Secrets model and thats all that matters. I’ve been shopping around and made a little wishlist of my favourites here..
Now besides all of this, the one thing that I want to tell you from this post is that you are going to be okay. Boys aren’t what makes our world go round and you should know that you’re amazing! Don’t let a guy affect your mood and send out all the positive vibes.. x
a twenty-something exploring the world with a double espresso and a camera.