Nothing more, nothing less.
Its what makes you, you and me, me.
Do you ever feel like you don’t really know who you are? Because thats exactly how I feel right now. I’m sat overlooking the most beautiful beach, completely cut off from reality and feeling sorry for myself. Feeling like I don’t know who I am and I couldn’t go another minute without writing it down and putting into words exactly how I’m feeling.
The last four years of my life have been a constant whirl of change with absolutely nothing that I have right now being even a slight echo of my previous life.. my previous self. And changes change a person, evolve you to be able to cope and keep moving so I guess the ‘me’ right now is stronger and smarter.
I sometimes worry that my identity is lost through all the change. Am I the girl I was four years ago that loved bright coloured clothing, went out every weekend and desperately wanted to be a fashion designer? Am I the girl two years ago that was always miserable, never wore colour and felt lost in her choices? Or am I the girl sat writing this: still barely wearing colour, exploring the world and feeling almost at peace with the direction my life is heading.. feeling more myself than I ever have.
Social media is the culprit for my current dilemma of course. I was scrolling through Instagram and so many people have a style, inclusive of their music taste, clothing, interiors – they have an ‘identity’ which I feel like I don’t. Could you go to a clothes store and pick out things you know I’d love? Or see a home interior on Pinterest that you’d instantly associate with me? I suppose this is quite superficial to be speaking about material things but they are part of what makes up an identity, aren’t they?
I guess my ever changing life is part of what makes me, me. I’m able to adapt to my surroundings and keep moving forward, without looking back. I have a very well rounded taste in music, fashion, interiors and general likes and dislikes. I like adventure and dislike heights, etc. To be honest, at 24 years old, I am still young. If I lived to the age of 60 then I’m barely even half way through my life. I’m just finishing the awkward years of self discovery where we move from teenagers into young adults and find our place in the world (if we ever really do).
If I’m honest, I don’t really know where I’m going with this post but I vowed to keep you updated with my musings while I’m on the road and my first thought with all of this whirling around my head was to put it in words, pour it onto my blog whether anyone reads it, relates to it or not. This blog is a diary to me and as much as its a place to share my fashion, beauty or travel with you, its also a place for me to share thoughts and keep you in the loop.
I guess the big question behind this post is.. have I lost my identity or am I still discovering who I am? Maybe I know, maybe I’m discovering or maybe I’ll never know but I’m going to stop wasting my time worrying about it and live my life.